Amy Clark

Now When You Say Left, Do You Really Mean Right?

Good ol’ Indiana has gotten a heck of a lot of snow today so we are unofficially snowed in today. I had made plans today to go to a friend’s house (*waving at Christina*) and looked out my window and could not even see our next door neighbor’s house. There was tons of blowing snow and crappy winds and I realized that as much as I love my girlfriends and as much as I would like to escape my house, I also realized that I do not drive in snow conditions like that.

I also prefer not to drive in regular snow, rain, sleet, hail, or dry and normal conditions. Basically, if you were planning a fun trip and wanted someone to carpool with you or maybe help with the driving, I am not your girl. I am definitely your girl if you want someone to sing along with you to the radio, talk about random crap out the window, comment on road kill (I provide quite fascinating commentary on this and even do faces of the animals that we see), or assist (using the term loosely) with directions.

Short Disclaimer: Just to clarify on the directions, I do not “read” maps, I read things that say, “Turn left on Elm Street.” Those jokes for maps that people draw for me will lead you absolutely nowhere that you originally had planned. I also would like to clarify that if you are offering me directions, you will need directions that are printed out in reverse too because I cannot read backwards and you will end up somewhere further from your location then you had hoped for. Please do not tell me this is easy because it is not for me. Also, if you would like to get to your destination in the “estimated time” that MapQuest suggests, then I highly recommend not accompanying me and my husband together on any trips. We have never made it anywhere near the estimated time offered and all of our car trips usually end in threats of divorce and/or me getting out of the car and crying like a big baby and my husband slamming his hands on the steering wheel. Thank you!

Anywho, instead of running around town all day I have gotten to spend loads of time on the phone talking to people. While I was talking to people, Ethan had been begging to watch that stupid show, “Maisy” again. We have Tivo so we tape episodes for him, but currently we only have two episodes taped. He is sick and I am not in the mood for entertaining so I think he has watched these a total of ten times today. When it ends, he cries and begs for me to get the camera (aka- remote control) and put his favorite show back on again. I keep replaying the same two episodes and head upstairs to unload the dishwasher. I hang up the phone and start to make his lunch and notice that his show is over and he is not crying. Instead, my little guy is sound asleep with his head in a pillow and blanket all wrapped around him. God knows how long he had been sleeping while I am gabbing on the phone and being a bad mom to him. I hauled him to his bed and have made a pact with myself that I will not be answering my phone anymore today and I am just going to be supermom the rest of the day. It is Ethan’s lucky day because he is going to get his mommy all to himself. It is my lucky day though too because maybe this is a reminder to get my priorities in check?? Or maybe it is a reminder that I need to Tivo more, “Maisy.” Whatever the reason, it should be a good day!

Now let’s see…where are those darn directions for taping shows on Tivo? Hmmm…They say to push the left button. Now when they say left, do they really mean right? I think that is what they really meant so let’s start with pushing the right button….

Published March 01, 2005 by:

Amy Clark

Amy Allen Clark is the founder of You can read all about her here.

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