Amy Clark

Unedumakated Blogger

This past week I have been searching through other mommy blogs and have been trying to get a feel for what others blog about. Guess what I discovered? I be dumb.

These mommy writers are using words that I have never even heard of. The titles of their blogs are amazing, but I have to use a dictionary just to find out what I am reading. I read the entries and then I read all of the comments from the readers and realize that everyone else gets it, but me. They are all writing things like, “BRILLIANT! I have never laughed so hard in my life! Your ability to dominate and rule the English language make your blog a stand out!” Another entry reads, “Unbelievable the use of imagery and the parallels that correlate to your life and Martha Stewart’s. It truly was astounding!” Yet, I can’t even read the first sentence without reaching for my dictionary.

In short, it makes me feel stupid.

I will make a little confession though and then you will realize why I can’t probably figure all of these words out. I dropped out of college. Yup, I just decided that I was smarter then all these yahoos that were sitting around learning about whatever the heck you learn about in college and I up and left. You see, I don’t need to sit in some chair and be taught things when I realized I could be out livin’ life, you know what I’m sayin’? I was all learnin’ life skills in the hood while these people were learning prepositions. Tell me, who is going to be more successful? A college graduate or me? I mean, come on!

In efforts to prove how I can be smart in my blog, I am now going to copy/paste my blog entry that I entered into Microsoft Word using the brilliant feature called the thesaurus. Here is my new and (extremely) smart blog entry:

This past week I have been probing through other mommy blogs and have been demanding to get a sense for what others blog about. Guess what I revealed? I be dim.

These mommy dramatists are using vocabulary that I have, by no means, even heard of. The titles of their blogs are remarkable, but I have to use a dictionary just to find out what I am reading. I read the entries and then I read all of the commentary from the readers and realize that everyone else acquires it, but me. They are all writing things like, “BRILLIANT! I have never expressed amusement so hard in my life! Your ability to dominate and rule the English language make your blog notable!” Another entry reads, “Unbelievable the use of imagery and the parallels that correlate to your livelihood and Martha Stewart’s. It truly was astounding!” Yet, I can’t even read the first sentence without attaining my dictionary.

In brief, it makes me feel dim-witted.

I will make a little declaration of guilt though and then you will become conscious of why I can’t, in all probability, form all of these words out. I dropped out of college. Of course, I just decided that I was brighter then all these yahoos that were sitting around gaining wisdom about whatsoever the heck you become skilled at in the academy and I departed. You see, I don’t need to sit in some chair and be trained things when I realized I could be out living existence, you know what I’m articulating? I was all learning life skills in the hood while these citizens were learning prepositions. Tell me, whom is going to be more victorious? A college graduate or me? I mean, come on!

In labors to provide evidence on how I can be clever in my blog, I am now going to copy/paste my blog entry that I record into Microsoft Word using the luminous feature called the thesaurus. Here is my innovative and (exceedingly) intelligent blog admission…

See, even the stupid can sound smart with the aid of Microsoft Word. If you are ever feeling dim-witted or unedumakated, I highly recommend utlizing this feature on their program.

If you do not care about sounding intelligent, at the very least, the feature will really up your score in Scrabble. Just ask my husband when the last time was that he won a game. Do it nicely though because he truly is not dim-witted and he can kick your butt if you start getting smarty-smarty with him.

Published February 23, 2005 by:

Amy Clark

Amy Allen Clark is the founder of MomAdvice.com. You can read all about her here.

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