Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Player Scores...& Silence

It is the last thirty seconds of the basketball game and the teams are tied. The star player moves down the court gracefully, dodging player after player, his eye on the prize. He dances around them as he dribbles, and, as the seconds slip by him, he makes a beeline towards the basket. The crowd begins to count down loudly, "Ten, nine, eight..." And just before the last second, he slams the ball into the basket. And the crowd sits silent.

Wait? What? Why would the crowd not cheer? This is the moment, the moment that he has worked towards and yet, you could hear a pin drop. How do you think that player feels?

Well, I have been that blogger a lot and it really stinks. To be honest, you have to really love the process and therapy that comes with your writing to endure the dead silence that you receive when you first start blogging.

Let's take that player that we talked about, for instance, and how he would have felt if the crowd went wild instead of went silent. As someone who has done theater for years, I can tell you that there is absolutely nothing like the adrenaline rush that you feel from the crowd cheering. Your heart starts to pump, your face flushes, you get that natural high from the praise, and then something really great happens...you want to do it again. That praise, that rush, that love that you feel from the people around you motivates you and you feed off of it. Suddenly, you picture yourself doing it over and over again, but each time you vow that it is going to be better next time.

For me, the process of writing these entries can be very labor-intensive. Sixty shots of whatever I am eating before I get to eat it, reading books and magazines to stay on top of new subjects that might strike our fancy, researching and sharing about other blogs, and just plain working my butt off. Some of my entries take very little thought and others are put out there after hours of careful thought and research. What stinks is when you put it out there and receive no comments on all of that effort.

What can bring a blogger comfort when they receive no comments and what can you do to get more comments to come your way? Let's chat about it!

Take Comfort In Your Stats- Remember how we talked about tracking your site/blog's traffic? Well, sometimes you can take comfort in those numbers even if your comments are in the single digits. What brought me a lot of comfort in the beginning was knowing that fifty people visited my blog even if only four people commented on an entry. Just knowing that someone is out there reading your stuff can provide a lot of comfort.

Ask Advice- If you are blogging about a particular subject all of the time, it can become less interactive with your readers. Sometimes throwing a post out there and asking your reader's take on a particular subject can bring in a lot of comments. It can be something as simple as, where do you find the best grocery prices, but if the readers can help it can become a great role-reversal and will give you more discussion than a post on here is where *I* think you should grocery shop.

Make Yourself Vulnerable- Oh, I know this is a tough one, but this can be a great way to show readers the real side of yourself. This one has been a tough one for me because I am striving to be a positive person and sometimes things in my life don't feel so positive. Expressing some vulnerability and showing the real sides of our family makes that connection with your readers a little deeper. Be careful when being vulnerable though and protect your family and your privacy as best you can when sharing in this format.

Be the Commenter- If you are not getting comments, then be the commenter. When I say this, I mean it in two different ways. If you receive a comment in your own entry, comment back to that person. "Thanks so much, Jane, for your comment! Using powdered milk IS a great way to save on groceries- I will try that!" This not only boosts your comments by one (and yes, in the beginning stages you can count that!) and it also builds a conversation with your readers. They see that you are reading their comments and that makes them want to continue the discussion with you. Better yet, another person might want to throw their two cents in now that they see that you are learning something and sharing in this way. Not everyone comes back to read the comment thread, but sometimes I read comment threads just because it seems busy. If you answer your comments, that boosts people's interest in wanting to see what all the fuss is about. See, you just roped your readers in!

The other way is to, of course, spend time commenting on other people's blogs. This can be a very time-consuming process in the beginning, but it is so fun to read what other people are writing and it will help you with your own content. Be sincere in your comments and the other blogger will want to see who this amazingly thoughtful person is! They will visit your blog and then who knows where that one comment will lead?

Highlight Your Old Stuff- Maybe you put out a killer entry the first time around and not a single soul commented on it, but you knew it was sheer brilliance. What to do? Bring that old entry back! I have seen bloggers do great round-ups of their old entries daily, weekly, or monthly... it just depends on how much content you have to work with. We do a weekly recap on Fridays, but in the beginning I did a, "Play It Again, Momma" where I would just bring back a single entry that I wished someone read. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

Here is what I will say, no matter how big of a blogger you are, those comments really mean something. I read every single comment that comes through my blog and I am so proud if someone tells me they appreciated something I did or said. I gloat so much that sometimes I save them and read them to my husband when he gets home. "Look, this person said that my line drying article saved them $20 this month on their bill. Isn't that awesome?"

I try not to take the silence personally, but sometimes it is hard. Remember that a thoughtful comment can make a blogger stronger and give them that crazy rush they need to press on.

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35Comments:

Blogger Michelle
"I have been blogging for just under a month and have seen great traffic (to me) in a short time, so I am grateful for that. However, trying to figure out how to make money and trying to figure out what you can actually make blogging is more difficult for me. Thanks for a great article and for referring me to some past info that I was not around to catch the first time!"

at 7:12 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous
"Amy,
What a great post!
Thank you for staying with the team and pressing forward.
You glean great ideas for all of us and you are so willing to share all you are learning.
Peace,
Lynne in NC"

at 7:20 AM  

Blogger mommomto2pumpkins
"AWWWW i love your blogs! but i knwo what you mean i have a cafemom group called teaching wonderful 2's and i post weekly lesson plans on it and i work hard on them and aeverything and rarely do i get even a hey those sound great!

keep up the good work! your doing great!!!"

at 8:25 AM  

Blogger Laura
"Hey Amy!!
I personally love your blog - and MUST read it every day. You have inspired me to think about starting my own blog... when I have a few minutes. As the mom of 11 month old twins - time is extremely limited... which really any mom would already know. So needless to say - I rarely have time to comment... but today, I'm taking the time! :)
On that note - I have your blog in my RSS reader... do you get stats on those people that use RSS to read it also? (Just curious...)
Anyway - GREAT BLOG - and I'll try to leave comments more often!! :)"

at 8:44 AM  

Blogger amy f.
"I will be the first one to admit that I'm not the best commenter and I apologize for that. Sometimes all I have time for is a quick read and then don't remember to go back and comment. And often times I feel like I don't have anything significant to say in a comment, anything that would stand out or be any different than all of your other comments, but I realize it only needs to be a simple comment at times, like "great post" or "thank you for taking the time to write this."

I will really make an effort to be better about commenting more regularly because I do realize the hard work that goes into keeping up such an active and quality-content blog (I can't do it, so I'm in awe of you) and you deserve to be shown the appreciation and the love!"

at 9:00 AM  

Blogger Connie
"I have to admit...I never expected comments on my blog. I started out blogging just to document tidbits of my life...leave my kids a chronological timeline of their crazy mom's daily happenings. So to me, a comment is "like getting a present from the blogger gremlins". (Debbie at This is the Life) I enjoy reading your blog and feel we're kindred spirits. Just wanted to thank you for putting yourself "out there" for your blogging buddies."

at 9:22 AM  

Blogger Amy
"Michelle- I hope the links will provide some more ideas for generating revenue. I know that is always a hot topic for bloggers.

Amy F- Oh, don't worry! I know you have had a lot going on in your life- no apologies needed.

This post was just meant to help encourage others through those zero comment stages and to facilitate some discussion on improving our comments!! :)"

at 9:28 AM  

Blogger kelly
"great post, love your blog!"

at 9:34 AM  

Blogger Jenn @ Frugal Upstate
"I so totally know how you feel about this! and I've noticed that you've been very good about commenting on other's blogs :)

Sometimes it does feel like you are just writing into the void-and with many blogs (like mine) folks aren't even making any money off of it. The only payback is the comments.

It is sort of depressing when you get 500 hits, and not a single comment. But I figure it gives me a thicker skin."

at 9:37 AM  

Anonymous Mrs. Micah
"I understand. First few months of blogging, I had to work through the silence. One thing I found helped bring people, including commentors was commenting on a lot of other sites in my genre. It was like building a relationship through dialog on each other's blogs.

One thing I still find is that if you come off as quite strong or decided (and the subject isn't controversial or rare or extremely useful) people are less likely to comment. Like "5 ways to do something." Whereas if you come off as more open, tell a story instead of just using bullet points, open yourself up...then people will respond."

at 9:48 AM  

Blogger Adventures In Babywearing
"Perfect analogy! What an important post for bloggers and readers to read!

Steph"

at 9:58 AM  

Blogger Maria
"Amy,
I also read your blog everyday and admit I do not comment often. Thanks for providing us with great things and thanks for visiting my blog too.

thriftywaysandideas.blogspot.com

Maria"

at 10:11 AM  

Blogger Lindsay
"Great post! I needed the blogging boost lately. I mostly blog for my family and friends that don't live near us. But I have been trying to add more helpful information but hadn't been getting any feed back.

You are always so encouraging and honest! I love reading your blog and I will try and be a better commenter :-)"

at 10:22 AM  

Blogger Karen
"Amy,
I look forward to your blog everyday! Yours scratches me right where I itch! I have learned so much from your posts and absolutely cannot wait for the next one. The information you post has helped me feel more successful as a wife and mother. Thank you so much for all your work!"

at 10:32 AM  

Blogger Laurieann
"I completely agree that the silence can be deafening. It seems I'm always wrong when I think a post is a slam dunk for comments. But then I'm surprised at other posts that generate a ton of comments. I've been known to call my sister and beg her to comment to get the ball rolling. :)"

at 10:54 AM  

Anonymous Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home
"Amy, thanks for that post. I was feeling a bit like that player today! :)

I agree about everything you said. Your suggestions were bang on, and those have been the things that have really helped me along in my fledgling efforts (commenting back to my commenters, specifically asking for my readers thoughts and opinions, writing more vulnerably, etc.)

Slowly but surely, I am building a base of readers who comment, and when it happens, it is so rewarding! Blogging really takes a lot of work, so I fully appreciate the effort you put into your blog!

Thank you for the suggestion about re-using old posts that you know were good, but nobody noticed at the time. I have a lot of posts that I poured myself info from my very early months, that I would love to have people read. Perhaps I'll have to highlight them to my readers.

Thanks for the needed encouragment today!"

at 11:07 AM  

Blogger Owlhaven
"As I roar through my busy day, I sometimes forget how much a comment can mean to someone...
Thanks!
Mary, mom to many"

at 11:10 AM  

Blogger Sharon
"I'm a rookie blogger, and I SO appreciate comments and traffic. That's such a reward! This was a great reminder that ALL bloggers look forward to that -- both rookies and veteran bloggers alike. Love your blog -- thanks for sharing."

at 11:14 AM  

Anonymous Laurie
"Unfortunately so many of us are stalkers!! But we need to let you know just how much we look forward to your posts and how much they have helped us. I emailed you for wardrobe help and cannot tell you how much all your help meant to me. Please -- keep up the good work. You are an important part of our day!"

at 11:32 AM  

Blogger Amy
"Laurie- It was a true pleasure to help you and to imagine that I was going off to work with you in a fancy new wardrobe.

Thank you to all my stalkers for coming out of the woodwork :) You truly have made my day.

Stephanie- You should definitely highlight some of your older stuff. I bet it is just as good as you remember it and it will be a great way to showcase all that early talent and research!! I adore your blog so I appreciate your comment a bunch!"

at 11:42 AM  

Blogger elaine@bloginmyeye
"Amy, your blog is one of the most well-researched and informative blogs I read. And it is one of the blogs that got me interested in starting my own blog. I can tell you put a lot of work into your posts. You are a bloggin' professional. Count this is one of the 365 comments I should have left before!"

at 12:01 PM  

Blogger Marin...
"THANK YOU for this post. It made my day. I am a new blogger so sometimes I get discouraged with the lack of comments. This was a great & encouraging post for me. I am going to use some of your suggestions, especially the "Play It Again"! I would love to have you do a post on how to make your blog profitable, or see the link if you've already done it. Thanks!"

at 12:51 PM  

Blogger WhenWillTheySplit
"Ah, perfectly insightful with generous information, and very well said! I love this saying... "One kind word can warm three winter months." !!!! I am sure all of us bloggers and commenters and hopefuls would love one kind word... so let's all get out there and comment today!!!!

Sharon - Pinks & Blues"

at 1:13 PM  

Blogger Joy
"Amy,
I love your blog and visit it multiple times a day whether to catch a new post or revisit old posts. You always have such great ideas and insight into many different topics. Keep up the great work! I will try to be better about commenting too."

at 1:20 PM  

OpenID topaztook
"Amy,

I love your blog. I try to comment when I can. And to link to your great advice, too, like your Blissfully Domestic article on homemade paints and such in my post yesterday (which I meant to tell you about, but LiveJournal was acting like sludge!) We really had fun with your scratch 'n sniff paints!
http://topaztook.livejournal.com/131024.html

Your blog is one of my daily go-tos; thank you for all your great work!"

at 1:39 PM  

Blogger Tasha Via
"What a great post. It is a little disheartening when nobody comments, but you are right, people are reading and thinking about what we say. Thanks for a GREAT article=)"

at 1:42 PM  

Anonymous Antonette
"Yep. I couldn't have said it better myself."

at 3:08 PM  

Blogger Rachel
"Amy, I love your blog. It is a daily stop for me and I appreciate all the work you put into your posts, even if I have been quiet most of the time. I love the way you infuse humor and practicality into almost every post. Keep it up!"

at 4:21 PM  

Blogger MamaGeek
"Great information Amy! Ironically, it's been harder and harder to comment lately as life with toddler gets busier and busier!"

at 5:57 PM  

Blogger Richelle
"I know what you mean about not getting any comments. That has happened to me when I really wanted some feedback and it is frustrating. Even if I don't always comment I always read your blog. I have it in my bloglines, so I don't miss anything!"

at 7:57 PM  

Blogger PsychMamma
"Amy -

Just a quick note to let you know that I read your post every day. I stumbled upon your site through a link on another "mommy blog" somewhere out there, and I immediately bookmarked your site to the list I check every day (it's my morning routine with coffee while the baby still sleeps). I'm in Goshen, IN and think it's the COOLEST to have found a blog spot I love from someone "in the neighborhood." Anyhoo, although I read your site daily, it's not always easy for me to find time to comment, but know you've got another fan, and feel the love!

Smiles and best wishes"

at 8:49 PM  

Blogger *carrie*
"Great post. Amy. I have thought this often--I appreciate it when people take the time to comment. But sometimes the percentage of people that read vs. comment is shockingly low. I think we all went interaction and feedback.

You're doing a great job!"

at 10:49 PM  

Anonymous Pamela
"I have noticed that you take the time to comment on a comment and to answer a reader's brief question in the comments section. As a reader of blogs but not a writer myself, I can't tell you how much that means. It shows that we readers are not just site stats, but real people you choose to dialog with - not just talk to."

at 11:44 AM  

Blogger Lisa
"I'm a new blogger, so this is good advice. I love getting comments! And I am trying to be a very good commenter on other blogs."

at 12:04 PM  

Blogger Laura
"Oh, I have been that player! Sometimes it gets hard to remember that I am not blogging to be famous or anything, I write because I like it. But it is hard to remember that somehow when the other line is silent. I am going to try to be a better commenter and hope the karma kicks in. Thanks for the reminder."

at 12:49 AM  

I am a frugal hacker
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