Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Sad Life for the Clark Kids- Lots of Chores!

Chores are an important task in the Clark household and one of the benefits about our children getting older is that they can pitch in more. Since most chores seem to fall in the lap of mommy, I am thrilled that chores haven't lost their novelty yet and that my son loves to help mommy get things done around here.

Do I know that the novelty will wear off soon? Of course! I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Here are some reasons why chores are important in my house:

- I am grooming my child to someday be a self-sufficient adult. I don't want my kid going to college and not knowing how to make himself/herself a sandwich, do a load of laundry, or have to be dependent on the people around them.

- I want my kids to know that we are a family unit and in a family unit, it is important for everyone to pitch in. Occasionally, I will hear my son say that he is "bored" with chores or "too tired" to help me out. That is tough luck in this house because everyone has to put forth an effort so that we can ALL enjoy having a clean and organized home.

- Chores are a great teaching opportunity. Sorting clothing by colors teaches your child to group colors together, folding clothing helps them build fine-motor skills, working at a fast pace (setting a timer for completing certain tasks) can be a fun way to exercise.

- I want my son to be a catch someday. Yeah, I am looking waaaaayyyy down the road, but that is sometimes in the back of my mind. What girl would not want to marry someone who knew how to wash his own laundry, could whip up a lovely dinner for her, or who picked up after himself? Those are attributes that would have been on my list when choosing a mate and I want my son to have those kind of attributes too...not only for himself, but for whoever he might end up with someday.

Here are what chores we do in our house:

- My son ( 5 yr old) has to get himself dressed in the morning, put his pajamas in his hamper, and make his bed before coming downstairs.

- He helps me prepare the evening meal and helps set the table for our dinner.

- Emily (2 yr old) & Ethan both have to help pick up their toys before they go to bed in the evening. We put on fast and crazy dance music, set the timer for ten minutes, and the whole family pitches in to pick up the playroom.

- On house cleaning day, Ethan is responsible for picking up his room for me to vacuum and dust it and he has to make sure the playroom is in order. We typically clean while my daughter lays down for her nap so this is a solo operation. I have moved my cleaning day to coincide with our Friday night family night. Basically, it is total bribery and we have to get the playroom picked up so that they can have a pizza and a movie with mommy and daddy. It works out really well.

- Ethan sorts our laundry. I line the hampers up and the baskets and he sorts the laundry for me. He also helps fold the laundry when I wash it.

Here is what I had to overcome in order for this to work in our house:

- Teaching chores is a tedious process, but it is worth the time and effort spent. It took him awhile to get the hang of sorting the loads so we would start with a "question" pile which saved us all time. If he didn't know where something went, he would put that in a separate pile and we would talk about each item as we threw it in the correct basket.

- Things will not be done perfectly and I needed to get over that. When my son helps fold the laundry, it is not going to look like I folded the laundry, or like when I set the table, or have all the toys exactly where I would have put them. This is when you take your "mommy dearest" issues down a notch and enjoy being a mom and having someone to help you.

- I try to use our chore opportunities, not as a time to direct, but to talk with my kids. As we work on putting dinner together and setting the table, we talk about our day at school. It isn't always this way, but I try to reserve this special time with them.

Sound Off: What chores do your children do and what are their ages?

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29Comments:

Blogger Nico
"I am doing the same at my house too. My son (4) is in charge of getting himself dressed in the morning, putting dirty clothes in the hamper,cleaning up the toys in the living room, and he also feeds the cats in the morning and at night. His favorite task is feeding the cats, it is too cute."

at 8:25 AM  

Blogger Emily Loria
"I think all kids should experience the joy of chores. That's just part of growing up! ♥"

at 9:13 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous
"My children are ages 13 and 12. They unload the dishwasher, one unloads the top and the other one unloads the bottom. There are assigned days as to who does which half. They need to clean their rooms by Wednesday at 5pm and Saturday by noon. They make their beds every morning before school by 8am. When I wash dishes by hand, then one of my kids drys the dishes and the other one puts them away. They take turns feeding our cat and cleaning the litter box. I found that it works well for us to have a specific time as to when I expect these jobs to be done. That's why some of the jobs I have listed the time after them. I also have them clean up the bathroom when they are done with their showers. Each member of our family has a different color of towel so I pretty much know who left their towel on the floor. For the bathroom to be considered clean, the towels must be hung up properly, the bathroom floor must be dried and dirty clothes must be in the hamper. I use a ticket reward system with the kids and when they complete their job on time, I give them a certain number of tickets depending on the job. They then can turn their tickets in for a reward. I have the rewards posted on the refrigerator as well as the number of tickets that are needed to get a reward. I don't give them allowance so the tickets system serves as a motivating factor for them.
We have a snow day today here in Northern Illinois so I get to paint an old dresser today... YEAH!!
Enjoy your day.
Jodi"

at 9:18 AM  

Blogger Amy
"Jodi- I love your reward tickets idea. What types of rewards do you offer? I would love to get some more ideas for rewarding the good stuff in our house.

PS- It i snowing like nuts over here too. I hope you get your dresser project done- might as well take advantage of this weather :)"

at 9:26 AM  

Blogger Ginger Jager
"You're doing the right thing! Take it from me--I'm married to the man whose parents DIDN'T make him do chores, and here I am, teaching a 31 year old how to pick up after himself. My parents taught me and my brothers to be self-sufficient, and I will be passing that lesson along to my kids, for sure!"

at 10:16 AM  

Blogger Mrs. Mordecai
"Right now I have a 1 1/2 year old and I'm just happy if he picks up a few of his toys. We're making progress, though; he knows that tissues go in the trash can and he likes to sing "Clean Up.""

at 10:26 AM  

Blogger Bake Me A Cake!
"Great post! Love it! It is amazing what children are capable of. They love to help. I imagine this is who families were able to have so many children back in the "old days." :) Have you ever read "Managers Of Their Chores" by the Maxwells? Well worth it. Thanks for sharing..."

at 10:34 AM  

Blogger Damsel
"I totally agree with looking waaaay down the road regarding my son (and daughter, if we ever have one).

"Bribery" has such a negative connotation... but it really is how the world works. If you don't work, you don't get paid, and you don't get to enjoy doing fun things. In fact, it could interfere with even living properly (i.e. paying bills). What some people call "bribery", I call "teaching my kids a life lesson". (I'm not saying that you don't view it that way -- I just reread what I wrote and it may come across harshly to you, but I promise I don't mean it that way!) :)"

at 10:53 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous
"My kids have been doing chores since very young (they are now 12 & 14). Even though I am a SAHM, I felt it was important for them to learn independence early! Many of the tasks you've listed I also showed my kids how to do. IMHO, I do not feel that an allowance was the answer for my kids. My son has ADD so tasks are much harder for him than his "organized" sister. My rewards have always been "high praise" for completing a task even if it takes a few tries. Also, I feel many kids are "spoiled" these days (like getting money, excessive material things and/or freedom) and many come to expect it! I'm happy to say at 12 & 14, my kids do many more chores than any of their friends! Dishwasher loading and unloading, hand washing/drying pans, washing, drying and putting away of their laundry, sweeping, cleaning their rooms and bathroom on a weekly basis. Finally, both of them have some skills in baking, cooking, saving and managing their money (both have paying jobs)."

at 12:26 PM  

Blogger LynnMarie
"You are doing the right thing, don't forget to teachthem how to change the oil and tires in the car someday when they are older. Our children learned all that stuff and when our son was in college, he made extra spending money by doing the ironing, he was the only one who knew how. It was a great way for him to earn his pizza money. Our daughter gave classes in oil changing and tire rotation for extra money. After all we were paying for the education - pizza money was there responsability."

at 12:42 PM  

Blogger jennwa
"I think chores are very important, they need to learn skills and feel like they have a roll and importance in the family. My kids like when they do a job well and help Mommy. They feel like they have accomplished something.
My kids have to make their beds, pick up their clothes, take care of the dogs, set the table and clean off the table after dinner."

at 12:47 PM  

OpenID topaztook
"I wholeheartedly agree with your philosophy. Some may think I'm crazy, but my 20-month-old is expected to put her clothes in the hamper after we change into pajamas; we are currently working on picking up toys (which is a struggle), and she has recently begun helping me unload the dishwasher (handing me things) and bringing me her plate/cup when we are getting ready for a meal. (She does, of course, do all these thing with supervision.)"

at 1:03 PM  

Anonymous Pamela
"Our daughter is 26 months and she helps clean up her toys at nap and bedtime. She can also put the silverware away (minus the sharp knives, of course)."

at 1:09 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous
"Amy,
Our ticket system works like this: I bought a roll of raffle tickets from Walmart. (I found them in the pen and pencil aisle) I have Sean and Alana's job chart on the refrigerator as well as the reward chart. We asked the kids what they wanted the rewards to be and for the most part they came up with pretty good rewards.
5 tickets= 2 liter soda of your choice ( we normally don't buy soda, so this is a treat for them)
7 tickets= candy bar of your choice
10 tickets= stay up 15 minutes later on a school night
13 tickets= you choose what we are having for dinner (includes dessert)
15 tickets= rent a movie of your choice
20 tickets= $5.00 (real money)
25 tickets= lunch with Mom or Dad
30 tickets= movie theatre gift card (2 tickets)
50 tickets= have a friend stay the night
55 tickets= $10 (real money)
Make your bed by 7 am= 3 tickets
Make your bed by 8 am= 2 tickets
Clean the bathroom after your shower= 2 tickets
Clean your room on Wednesday by 5 pm= 2 tickets
Clean your room on Sat. by noon= 2 tickets
Empty dishwasher= 2 tickets
Help put groceries away= 1 tickets
Change toilet paper roll= 1 ticket
Be quiet while mom or dad are on the phone= 3 tickets
Change the cat's food and water= 2 tickets
Change the Kitty Litter=3 tickets
I also give out tickets during the day if I see them doing something without being asked first. Giving encouragement to one another and so on. We used to take tickets away from the kids if they didn't do a job on time or not at all. Honestly, I felt like the kids weren't as excited about the tickets after a while... Now, if they don't do one of their jobs on time, then they still have to do it, they just don't get tickets for it. I hope this helps. If I can explain it any further let me know and I can try and help."

at 1:13 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous
"Amy my grandson(7) and grandaughter(4) love to dust the furniture with the swiffer duster. My older grandsons 12 and 13 are responsible for alot of things including the younger ones picking up the play room and getting their laundry to the basement. But the 2 older are responsible for taking out the trash daily from all rooms.

The 2 older are learning to do some simple cooking skills with the help of my dear daughter

Vicki ( Wheezymom)"

at 1:46 PM  

Blogger village mama
"Great post Amy!

Kids here are 3.5 & 1.5, like you we combine clean up with music and or timer dings. Currently Jack Johnson can cure all noes that may be getting out of joint.

Kids clean up toys, play doh, water plants, dump their plates & spoons into sink, help load washing machine, they chop veggies, peel garlic, set table. We don't believe in rewards for chores; but, I do get them to eat their dinners by promising/bribing them with dessert."

at 1:52 PM  

Blogger Amy
"Wow, you guys are offering some incredibly good feedback on this topic! Thank you for that!

Jodi- Thank you for posting your rewards system. I LOVE this idea- so brilliant! I had to laugh at the soda one because it reminded me of how soda was such a special treat when I was growing up :)

All of these ideas and chore lists are so great to learn and build from, as my children get older.

Thank you!"

at 1:57 PM  

Blogger BlondeMomBlog (Jamie)
"I'm really trying to work on this. My 5-year-old wants to save money for a Webkinz so I printed and customized a chore chart that is on the refrigerator. Among her chores...she picks up toys, wipes down the kitchen table, dusts (I LOVE the Mr. Clean dusting glove I bought at Dollar General), feeds the dogs, runs the Swiffer, puts dirty clothes in the hamper, and a few weeks ago helped me pick up sticks in the yard after a bad storm.

Now if I can just get her almost 3-year-old baby sister to do some chores. ;)"

at 2:08 PM  

Anonymous Frugal Dad
"Great job teaching your son those fundamentals. It will most certainly pay off - I can't stand the idea of a grown man being helpless. I cook, wash clothes, clean the bathrooms AND cut the grass around our house (well, my wife and I trade off on all those chores, except grass cutting - that's my forte)."

at 2:48 PM  

Blogger Simple Family Supper lady
"My goal is to eventually train myself out of a job.... I will of course still participate, but our children are capable of doing the basics! It does take a lot of determined effort to teach children HOW to do something and we have to let go of perfection!!! Thank you for the encouragement!!! It does feel good to know that other sons are being raised to take care of them selves! I hope my daughter marries a guy that can cook her a romantic dinner!!
Heather"

at 3:07 PM  

OpenID canearl
"I'm so glad that I'm not the only person thinking that my kids will be a great catch because they will be self-sufficient. My 5 and 3 year old help me clean the windows and pick up all of their toys. My 5 year old gets himself dressed and folds towels for me. My 3 year old helps me move the laundry from the washing machine to the dryer. They both are also suppose to put their dishes in the sink when they're done eating. My 5 year old is also a decent sweeper. I'm a slave driver :)."

at 4:35 PM  

Blogger Jessica
"My son, Declan, is 19 months and his job is to give our dog a bone before we leave the house! He is also quite good at finding small papers or what not on the floor, picking them up, and bringing them to us to throw away :-)."

at 10:22 PM  

Blogger Marva
"We do chores at our house too. Our twin boys will be 2 next month. They clean up their toys before bedtime, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, help mommy load the dryer, clean with a damp rag (anything...highchairs, furniture, walls, doors) and they mimick me with their vaccums. So the last one is not real......but maybe in a few years!;)

You're doing a great job with the kids Amy. Great post!"

at 10:25 PM  

Blogger MamaGeek
"I loved reading this. My 18 month old only has 2 chores - but he has them and does them. He puts away the dog dish and picks up toys each night. I agree - it's a VERY good thing!"

at 10:32 PM  

Blogger Leanne
"My boys do chores also... My 18 month old even knows to put his diaper in the garbage and where to put his dirty clothes! I think grooming them as good husbands is such a great thing! My hubby is incredibly helpful...so I think my sons will grow up to be that way also! Great post!"

at 7:15 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous
"Jodi,
You have given me some great ideas to use with my 2 children.
I hope you don't mind if I use some of your ideas.

MiMi"

at 12:12 PM  

Blogger Mrs. Darling
"I love this chore post. You know what happened last week? My 7 year old son did his own laundry from start to finish and I didnt even know he was going to do it. Weeelll I had to help him get motivated to get it back to the drawers but he runs our big front loading machines like an old hand. My husband found out and he wasnt happy. Later he told me privately that he doesnt think our son should have to do laundry because he's a boy!!! Can you believe it?

Well hes still doing laundry! :)"

at 10:06 PM  

Anonymous PlanningQueen
"We reorgansied our jobs that the children do around the house earlier this month and I posted it on my blog. We don't give any reward for this as we have an expetation that as family members, every one contributes to the running of the household."

at 5:37 AM  

Anonymous amanda
"thank you for the encouraging post! dd is only 15 months but we are already begining to teach her to help with chores. these are the things she does now:

gets jacket/hat off hook/puts away
puts dirty clothes in her basket
hels me unload dishwasher by handing me each piece of silverware
returns items to her room
puts items from washer into dryer (i hand them to her)
puts toys away in baskets and books on shelf (not sorted, of course)

some things i want to work on this year include:
hanging clothes on a low line
watering plants
pulling small weeds
putting groceries in the cart

thanks for the encouragement and ideas!!"

at 11:28 AM  

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