When Do You Have the Talk?
POSTED BY Amy at 1:38 PM
Wow, I have been reading a sea of blog entries on teenage pregnancy since the whole thing with the Spears family has come out. Ironically, the feel-good movie of the year is, "Juno" which also deals with the issue of teenage pregnancy.
As a parent of children under five, I have not had the big talk yet. I am really curious who out there has had the talk and at what age you discussed this? Was it you and your husband together? Did the conversation stem from a particular circumstance or was it just something you decided to talk about with your child? Did you talk from the heart or did you tackle the discussion with some learning materials?
I guess what I am asking is, what can we as parents do to help prevent our children from being a statistic?
I don't say this to stir up controversy, but only to understand how other parents have dealt with topics such as these!
Labels: Parenting
10Comments:
Avlor
"I've been answering my son's questions along the way. He's 7 so we haven't been into the details yet. But he knows he was a baby in my tummy and that he had to come out (and the general region). He also has some clue about what a woman's period is (i.e. the body was preparing for a baby and before that can happen again it needs to "clean out"). Our church has a great video series they go through every couple of years that tries to hit the subject at age appropriate levels. The first video we watched together, then next time around he'll be ready for the next video.
I know there's a high teen pregnancy rate right now. But I also feel fortunate to be in this current generation. We can be open with our kids. My parents found it extremely difficult to talk about such things, and we still don't talk on several subjects. I hope to create some responsibility in my son and help him connect actions with consequences. It's something my parents didn't really drive home for me. So it's one of the things I am determined to improve upon. I intend to help him see that children are wonderful gifts but hard work and that sex can (and should be) a gift to your spouse inside of marriage.
(Hope that wasn't way to specific for your blog - feel free to edit or not post this comment.) May you be blessed in your endeavors to cover this topic with your children."
"I have two teenage boys, and have never had "The Talk." Rather, it has been MANY smaller conversations, starting from the time they were about 3. Proper body part terminology, this is where babies grow, etc., always age-appropriate. I've always wanted them to feel comfortable talking to me about sexuality, and wanted them to get that message early. About once a year, we have a "sleep-over" where we camp out in sleeping bags in the living room. It's often easier for them to ask questions when it's dark -- they feel less embarrassed that way. And especially when they were younger, library books were very useful. I'd bring home a couple, leave them around to be looked at, then we'd look at them together and I could answer questions. If they don't get accurate information from me, they'll get inaccurate information from somebody else."
{Karla}
"we've always sort of talked about it, so that one day, when we have THE talk, it won't be such a surprise. Obviously, there are some areas we will wait to talk of with them until then, but we try to answer honestly when asked and discuss at that time.
Blessings,
Karla"
"I think there are so many things we need to "talk" with our children about, as they get so many conflicting stories from friends and other places. I started when my children were as young as 3 telling them the correct body part names and had what others refer to as "the talk" when my son was 10 and my daughter was 9. The reason being, 10 was when I noticed he started having a slight interest in girls- he was past the girls have cooties stage and 9 with my daughter because I knew she would more then likely start having her menstrual cycle in the following year of so. I have always been very open with my children and for that matter their friends, when I believe the situation calls for it and when they ask me a question. I also started doing this because my daughter was very upset one day and it took quite some time for her to finally tell me what was wrong, come to find out, some friends of hers told her if your breasts are not the same size- i.e. one bigger then the other, you have breast cancer! Then one of her friends said in a conversation, I heard you can only get pregnant while you are menstruating! Kids need us to be honest and I really think that 9 and 10 is about the time to have the talk and be honest and thorough."
""Rather, it has been MANY smaller conversations, starting from the time they were about 3. "
This has been our approach, too. We use proper terminology ALWAYs, and want our children (5 and 3) to know that their bodies are NOT shameful. Their questions are answered with age-appropriate facts and answers. I want them to have a grounded basic knowledge before they start hearing things on the playgorund, the school bus, etc. And that goes for more than the S*x talk, too. Drugs, alcohol, etc.
also, we are very sure that our kids understand that their actiosn have conswquences. I know they're young yet - but if they were preteens, we'd probably talk about hte consequences of this situation - how it will affect her peers, her co-workers, her fans, her mother, the child, etc."
WorksForMom
"Since my son is only 1 this is hopefully a distant conversation that I know, someday, will take place when the time is right."
Sher's Creative Expressions
". . . When do you have the "talk?" As soon as they start asking questions. That immediate moment. Don't wait, the conditions will never be right. Answer their questions immediately or when they get older they will not come to you with questions.
Mother of two daughters, 20 & 14. They ask, I answer. Honestly, immediately."
Erin
"I also think that there really should not be a big talk, but rather have all of this discussion in the day to day. As topics come up, discuss them. And we have to remember if a child asks where do babies come from, they might not be asking for a whole lot of info. Start small, if they have more questions they will ask."
CP
"I have two step kids, both teenagers. We talked about this story. In my opinion you what is important is establishing (early) a close, open relationship that you can have continual conversations about it. Also, I think it's based on the maturity level of your kids too! If I come across any good resources I'll pass them along."
"I am getting ready to "Have the talk" with my 6 year old, and let me tell you I am so scare that am going to confuse him. How do I brake the ice?"
Post a COMMENT
10 comments
Subscribe to this blog
STUMBLE This
Add to KiRTSY
Add to MIXX
It's DELICIOUS
I know there's a high teen pregnancy rate right now. But I also feel fortunate to be in this current generation. We can be open with our kids. My parents found it extremely difficult to talk about such things, and we still don't talk on several subjects. I hope to create some responsibility in my son and help him connect actions with consequences. It's something my parents didn't really drive home for me. So it's one of the things I am determined to improve upon. I intend to help him see that children are wonderful gifts but hard work and that sex can (and should be) a gift to your spouse inside of marriage.
(Hope that wasn't way to specific for your blog - feel free to edit or not post this comment.) May you be blessed in your endeavors to cover this topic with your children."